shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
