The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
