I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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