Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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