Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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