Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
