I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize