Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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