Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
