your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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