I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
