You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
