I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
