i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
