Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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