Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
