just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
