I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize