i just wanna soil my oats bro
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
