I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
