Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
