What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
