obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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