are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
