Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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