biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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