As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize
