I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
They have beer where we have blood.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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