you traded sex for a burrito?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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