I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
