Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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