Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
