somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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