Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
