The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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