your room smells of hookers.
And success
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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