Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
