i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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