Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
