What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
