I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
