I heard we made out
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
