Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
