Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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