So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
