Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..

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(650): View more from California

Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...

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(410): View more from Maryland

Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.

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(416): View more from Toronto

I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Some one left their pants in the elevator.

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(562): View more from California

Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.

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(713): View more from Texas

Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made

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(802): View more from Vermont

the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza

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(307): View more from Wyoming

The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.

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