Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
