Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
