you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
