My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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